Some pandemic pastimes are a blast from the past. Sounds like lots of people are wheeling about town on roller skates this summer. Google Trends shows that roller skate searches spiked in May and are still jacked. Impala Rollerskates apparently have been seeing some new lines of skates sell out in a day.
Obviously, the first thing my mind goes to, is could this eventually lead to return of Wheelies!? That roller rink was such a classic. So many memories. So many injuries. RIP Sabo’s arm and face.
Despite all of my time at Wheelies, I never became very proficient on roller skates. Which came into play when I actually had a chance at one of my previous jobs to strap them on as an adult. The Breakfast Television gang got to take on a Roller Derby team at Lloyd’s in Calgary and we … got … smoked! Those ladies roughed us up good. ROLLER SKATING IS SO HARD! I could get some good momentum going moving forward, but couldn’t crossover to save my life! Stopping was a bit of an issue too. Good thing for those walls or else Buff Knough would still be going! Our team was a motley crew at best. Actually, Foxy Rolla was dynamite. I was shocked to see her shoot the duck! Skills for miles. Axl Rolls had good intentions (and an even better jean jacket) but he spent most of his time rolling around on the ground. The Hawaiian Punch STRAIGHT UP CHEATED! He brought his own roller blades – waaaay easier than roller skates. Leave it to a weather guy to be shady. And then there’s Killa Jilla. The only thing that she murdered was her tailbone. It’s a safe bet she’s still hurting from a massive wipeout. BUTT IT WAS FUN!
You can check out our skills below.
P.S. I blame my sluggishness on our bright idea to go to Tom’s House of Pizza (MMMMM Tom’s) beforehand for an All-You-Can-Eat Pizza Buffet and a few beers.
